Positive!

Well, well, well...we've done it again.

Over Christmas and new years, our family took a vacation to the states (VA and FL), and while on that vacation, we weren't thinking of trying for a second child...but it appears we have managed to do it again.

We got back from the states and I had been feeling a little funny because I had some spotting about three weeks after my last period, but didn't have anything more after a day or two. I had been breaking out like a teenager going through puberty again, too, which was quite annoying. I'm sure Jeff will tell you that I've been moody, too. Another indicator was that one day after a large meal, I patted my stomach and asked Shingil, "What's this?" and her immediate response was "BABY!" We had a good chuckle from that, but it didn't click then that I might remotely be pregnant. I had a scheduled appointment with an OB/GYN regarding my irregular periods in the previous months, so I went to that scheduled appointment...

When I got there, they decided to do a quick sonogram to determine where in my cycle I was since I had already spotted. Well...the technician looked at the screen for a while and then said to me, "um...you weren't planning on being pregnant, were you?" I told her we weren't "trying" but we weren't "not trying" either and that it would be a good thing if we were pregnant. She said, "It looks like you're pregnant!" She then showed me a printout of the little egg sac in my uterus that just looked like a tiny black jellybean in a smear of grey...amazing. What she did tell me, though, was that the yolk sac (a little white spot in the black jellybean) should be more of a ring with a clear center, but mine was a little round white spot like a snowflake sitting in the egg sac. She said it wasn't anything to be concerned with, but it was something they wanted to check because it could mean that the pregnancy might be high risk...whatever that means. Well, I was excited and nervous and anxious about the whole thing, but it was like I already knew...

It's such a different feeling from when we found out we were pregnant with Shingil...it was just pure excitement then...whereas now, I feel more worried than excited...I worry that we may not be ready for this. Maybe Shingil is not ready to be a big sister yet...but maybe she is...maybe I'm just not ready...but I think I am. I am so happy at the possibility of being pregnant...yet I'm so nervous.

Well, while I was getting my check-up, I told Jeff to pick up some pregnancy tests, so when I got home after work that day, I took one of the tests and waited three minutes...and guess what? It was positive!!!

I was not surprised, but still very happy...and it was a strange feeling that I had already seen the little angel growing inside of me already before I even knew I was pregnant...before I ever took a pregnancy test.

I took a picture of the pregnancy test stick for good measure. I still want to treat this new little angel with as much love as I outpoured onto my first...my little Shingil. I know it won't be the same...but I want to do this.

Jeff and I have decided to keep this a secret from our families until we see them in May. I should be quite obviously showing by then...and they will be quite shocked...will we be able to keep it a secret??? I sure hope so.

Little Angel #2...you are loved...and the worry in my heart will pass and joy will replace the anxiety. I love you.

Love,
Umma